Now that I have my excess share of free time this bloody blog is going to take a beating. And whats on todays menu you ask? Good question. The multiple personalities of punctuation. For example:
The exclamation point! Way too much caffeine for this dude. I mean really, bring it down a notch man. I cant understand you through all the screaming. What?......What?......I still can understand you, you have to calm down. Take a breath. Count to three or some shit. What?.......What?......I still got nothing. Call me when you come down.
The question mark? Really, you damn existential nightmare. What are you three. Why is the sky blue?, how many toes does a pig have?, Do they serve ice cream in heaven? What do I look like, a fucking encyclopedia? Keep your questions to yourself. No one wants to hear your shit.
The colon: Yeah, yeah, make a list of this dude. How many lists can you make: 1. This one 2. Several others. 3. As many as it takes to get my point across. I get it, you have issues. Again, keep them to yourself.
The Semi-colon; Pretentious bastard. Yeah your smart we get it, but can you use it properly in a sentence. Didnt think so. Stick to your commas and periods asshole.
And, the comma,......I love you comma, your my best interrupted friend. What would I do without you.
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